


A Thousand Words Unspoken

by youtextd



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Almost Kiss, At least not right now he isn't, Episode Fix-It: s03e03 His Last Vow, Episode: s03e03 His Last Vow, Fix-It, High Sherlock, His Last Vow Spoilers, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, John being a cheeky little shit, John is not a blind idiot, Love Confessions, Mary is Not Nice, Multi, Mutual Pining, Sherlock Series 3 Spoilers, Texting, We're not sure yet where this is going
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-18 23:05:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3587391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youtextd/pseuds/youtextd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all changes with a text...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

 

I know this is a really shit time and way to do this seeing as how I just got back from my honeymoon, but why did you let me marry her if you love me? And please don't deny it.  –  JW

[ delayed ] I do not know what you’re talking about, John. I value you greatly as a friend. Where is this coming  from all of a sudden?  –  SH

I asked you not to lie and you know exactly what I’m talking about.  Pictures and videos don’t lie.  –  JW

[ delayed ] What are you talking about? - SH 

You know bloody well what I’m talking  about ,or  would you like me to also bring up the speech?  –  JW

I was swept along by the sentiment of the day. Nothing more.  –  SH

‘It’s always you. John Watson, you keep me right.’  That’s what you said Sherlock and I may have missed it at first, but those are not empty words.  Not from you.  –  JW

[ delayed ] I was merely referring to the way I was viewing the case at the time. Your insight was valuable. You did something similar with the Baskerville case as I recall. - SH 

Sherlock, I swear.  Enough.  Why can’t you just be honest about this one  thing.   I thought after everything we’ve been  through ..we  promised no more lies. - JW

[ afterthought ]  And I know that doesn’t excuse the fact that I lied either, but I didn’t think you felt the same way. - JW

[ after  no answer] If I’d have known, I would not have married her.  Please talk to me. Don’t shut me out.  Not now. - JW

[ delayed ] Stop this John. You love Mary. She is good for you. Whatever I may or may not feel is irrelevant. - SH

No. You owe me this - the truth. And don’t turn this on me because I can assure you that yes I do have feelings for her but nothing like the love I feel for you. She saved me from myself but YOU give me life. And if you would have just told me, there would not have been a wedding. - JW

[ delayed ] You love me? As in… truly love me? - SH

Yes. I do. You’ve deduced everything about me from that first day but never this. I don’t know how or why you’ve missed this. I guess I just figured you didn’t feel the same so I never pushed it. But when I saw all the photos and videos…. Sherlock I can’t live a lie. - JW

You’re not gay. You were adamant with that statement. And what pictures and videos are you talking about? - SH

This is frustrating, we should be doing this face to face. And yea for the record I’m not gay because I like BOTH men and women! For crying out loud, how you missed that, no idea. Especially that time at Baskerville and private whatever his name was, but never mind that. - JW

And the pictures and videos of the wedding. I can see it in all the pictures. The way you look at me, like I’m the only one in the room. Look can we please just meet? - JW

I didn’t dare to hope. I thought I had wasted my chance during that first dinner, so I never intended you to know. I’m working right now but I can be back at the flat in an hour. - SH

I never pursued because you were mister married to work but if I had known things could have been so different. Doesn’t matter. How bout I just meet you where you are? Maybe I can help? - JW

Best not. Undercover. Have been for the past three weeks. Give me one hour. Please. - SH

Ok. An hour it is then. How are you for food? Never mind, I’ll bring something. See you then. - JW

Until then. - SH


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and John are moving towards each other.

Sherlock pocketed his phone away again, ignoring the trembling of his fingers. Some part of him still wasn’t convinced this wasn’t an illusion his mind had conjured up as a result from his drug use. 

He pushed himself to his feet, desperate to get out of here and wash the smell of his skin before he’d meet John. Dammit, why hadn’t he asked for more time? An hour wasn’t enough. John would see, he would change his mind, he would be angry and leave…

Sherlock snarled as he moved down the stairs, ignoring a crackhead who had appointed himself on guard duty and made his way outside.

 

John was finally relieved to have finally broached the unspoken subject between them.  He had done nothing but obsess about it his whole honeymoon after Mary insisted on watching the video and going through the photos.

He was just leaving a note as she waltzed through the door.  Damn it!  He was hoping to sneak out before she had returned from wherever one of here mystery errands had taken her..

She leaned over his shoulder, reading what he had scribbled on the paper.

“What’s this then?”

“Exactly what it looks like?  I thought I’d go spend some time with Sherlock.  I haven’t seen him since we got back.”

“Well, why don't you let me put these things away and I’ll come with.”

“No, that’s OK, I actually just wanted a guy’s night, if that’s OK.”  God that sounded weird in context to Sherlock, but if it worked then who was he to argue.

“Okay,” She agreed shrugging her shoulders. “Just don’t make it too late.”

“I won’t,” he promised as he grabbed his coat and practically ran out the door.

Be a little late.  Got held up.  Probably extra 45 minutes. - JW

 

Sherlock didn’t know how long he had been wondering before he found a cab willing to take him - even though a hefty tip was necessary. He felt his phone buzz inside his pocket around the time the cab entered Westminster. 

Good. That would give him a little more time. He needed to get Janine out of the flat if she was still there. Clean himself up. Eat and drink something probably. Try to appear normal and at least a bit in control of himself as he would be coming down from his high. 

Will be waiting for you. - SH

 

What John thought would be 45 minutes turned into an hour and a half.  By the time he made it to Baker Street with the takeaway, he had to spend a good five minutes outside trying to cal down.  Thanks to the idiot cabbie slamming on the breaks, John was wearing two containers of soup and was sopping wet. No tip for that inept fool. Sherlock was definitely going to get a kick out of this.

It was strange though that as he made his way up the stairs it was eerily quiet.  As he opened the door, he understood why, the shower was running. He set the take away on the table and debated his options, stand there soaked and wait until Sherlock finished, or maybe go and join him.  Surely it would be welcome if their earlier conversation was anything to go by.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock struggles...

Sherlock was scrubbing his skin. Vigorously. But he could still smell himself over the scent of his body wash.  
His hands were trembling and the flannel had dropped to the floor several times already. His head was pounding and any sudden movement was enough to make his stomach roll.

He was coming down. Hard.

Janine had left without much prompting - but Sherlock had seen the suspicion in her eyes. Clever woman that one.

The flannel slipped from his shaking hands again and a curse escaped him. Stop. Breathe. Focus. John will be here soon.  
Sherlock’s stomach clenched again and he took a deep breath through his nose.

Wait… that smell… dinner? Surely it wasn’t time already?!  
'John?' he called, wincing at his unsteady voice.

When he heard Sherlock call his name, he knew something wasn’t quite right.  He walked over to the door and tapped on it lightly.  “You ok?”

“Yea, No, I’m fine, just give me a few moments.” he said hurriedly.

 

John frowned, looking down at himself still covered in soup.  All things considered this wasn’t the worst he’d ever been covered in and he could surely a few more moments of waiting would not hurt.

When Sherlock emerged from the loo wrapped in nothing but a towel, he was surprised to see John just leaning against the wall opposite the door.  It took him 3.5 seconds to understand why and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“You mind?” John said motioning at the shower.

“No, by all means, have at it.  I’ll just find you something to wear and if you leave your clothes in the hall, I’ll wash them for you.”

 

Sherlock wasn’t religious, but he thanked every deity he could think of for John’s distraction. As John went inside the bathroom, he fled inside his own bedroom. 

Taking a few deep breath, he forced his racing heart to calm down. John was here. In his bathroom. Changing his clothes. 

Sherlock dressed himself quickly before grabbing some of John’s old clothes - left behind when he moved out years ago. Sherlock never managed to get rid of them - and placed them near the bathroom door. His bathroom door. His _ glass _ bathroom door. 

He looked up slowly and he could see John moving around in the bathroom, getting ready to hop into the shower himself and suddenly Sherlock’s mouth felt dry.

 

John took his time once he shed his clothes and balled them up depositing outside the bathroom door to the hall.  It’s only when he turned back, did he realise he was looking at the glass door that led to Sherlock’s bedroom.  He grinned.  He used to be paranoid about that door and now he hoped Sherlock was on the other side watching.

He grinned.  he could put on a show for him, but that would be a bit much, but he really didn’t mind taking his time and flaunting what he had, give Sherlock a preview if you will.  He slowly walked over to the shower and turned the water on.  “I assume it’s OK if I use your bath products?”

 

‘Fine!’ Sherlock breathed out, a little higher than his usual tone and he pressed his eyes shut. God, if only John knew…

His fingers were still trembling and his skin felt like it was too small for his frame. He knew what he craved, what he thought he needed, but not now. Not with John so close to him. He wouldn’t be able to bear his disappointment.

‘I put some clothes for you on this side. I’ll make tea.’

Sherlock rushed outside of his room, mind and heart racing. 

_ Keep yourself busy. Do not make him see once he comes out that door… _


	4. Chapter Four

Once John heard Sherlock exit the bedroom, he made quick work of his shower, toweling off and dressing in a set of clothes he hadn’t seen in ages.  He had wondered where his oatmeal jumper had gotten to.  It brought a smile to his lips that Sherlock had held on to it, as a reminder no doubt.

When he joined Sherlock in the kitchen, he noticed something was a bit off.  While there were two cups of tea ready and the takeaway dished out between two plates, Sherlock seemed a bit, well not himself, listless.

John went over and felt his forehead, slight elevation in temperature.  “You ok?  Are you coming down with something?”

 

‘I’m fine John,’ Sherlock said, brushing John’s hand away from him. ‘The case… I’ve been busy.’

Sherlock sat down at the kitchen table, looking down at his food, avoiding John’s gaze. He should eat. He is aware that he has to eat at some point - how long has it been since his last meal? - but his stomach doesn’t stop rebelling.

 

John watched Sherlock for several moments pushing the food around his plate.  He had two theories, he was ill or drugs.  While he hoped he was ill, he was pretty sure it was drugs, but it didn’t seem to be a bender as they say, and he did say he was on a case, not that this gave him an automatic pass.

“Look, maybe this wasn’t the right choice of food, I could make you some eggs or toast, something simple if you’re sick.”  John wouldn’t push the issue, he wanted to see what Sherlock would do.  They were on the verge of something new and maybe, just maybe Sherlock would trust him enough to confide in him and explain, then again probably not.  He would have to see what happpens over the next few moments.

 

Sherlock’s eyes shot up to meet John’s before looking down at his food again.

‘No, it’s… it’s fine,’ he muttered. ‘Case. Haven’t eaten for a while. I’ll manage. Plus, your texts… it has me a little nervous to be completely honest.’ Sherlock managed a uncomfortable smile before looking up to John again, hoping he wouldn’t pry too much.

 

“Well, we can talk about whatever you like or wait until we finish eating.  You know, you can tell me anything, and no matter what it is we can work through it.  I don’t want us to keep anything from each other anymore, no matter what it is, and while we may not like it, it doesn’t mean that our relationship will be over.  I mean for starters, I told you about Mary, well began to anyway, there’s so much more there and I’m sure you’ve got your thoughts on the subject.  I just want you to know that you can do the same with me.”

 

Sherlock looked at John, wondering if he had, again, underestimated him. He was a doctor after all and although John had never seen him high, he _ knew _ him. 

But just as he opened his mouth, the sound of the front door opening downstairs, startled them. There had been no doorbell ringing, nor had they heard mrs Hudson open the door. Someone had -  _ oh for God’s sake! _

‘Mycroft!’ Sherlock snarled when he heard his brother’s first step on the stairs and he rose from his seat. He hadn’t seen nor heard from his brother in weeks as he had successfully managed to avoid him. But John’s text had made him careless. Mycroft would know. With one glance he’d be able to tell and he’d ruin everything!

 

John looked at Sherlock, “Quick, go back to your bedroom and don’t come out no matter what, I’ll take care of this, I can guarantee he won’t bother us after this.”

Sherlock watched dumbfounded as John rose from his seat, stripped his jumper and shirt off, tossing it across the room, undoing the buttons on his trousers and inching them down a bit, and toeing of his shoes and socks.  John looked at Sherlock who was still sitting at the table, “Sherlock, go!” he said ushering him out of the kitchen with a wink.

John hurried to the door, bringing Mycroft to a dead stop.

 

Sherlock barely managed to close the door behind him before Mycroft entered the kitchen. Oh what he wouldn’t give to see the look on his brother’s face right now! And John… he had just… Sherlock’s mind was still whirling as Mycroft took in John’s appearance in the other room. 

A cold smirk appeared on his face after he had composed himself. ‘Dr. Watson. I see I am intruding.’ 

Mycroft’s gaze flickered towards Sherlock’s closed bedroom door before settling back on John.

 

"Indeed you are intruding. You know they do have these wonderful things called cell phones, you could save yourself sometime trouble and embarrassment if you’d just use the one I know you have."

Mycroft chuckled. “That’s exactly why I’m here. You see my brother dear has been up to some of his, shall we say unsavory habits and declining all my calls.”

"Hmmm interesting. I can’t imagine why." John leaned in a bit closer to Mycroft. "I am a doctor and I did know the moment I set eyes on him…"

"Yet here you are…" Mycroft gestured at John half dressed. "I wonder what your wife would think."

"That’s really none of your concern." John said in a clipped tone. "Now why don’t you let me deal with your brother and his problem, I’m sure I will have far more influence on him than you."

 

Mycroft raised an eyebrow at John’s hostile tone but he was unwilling to relent so easily. 

‘Have you told dr. Watson about miss Hawkins, Sherlock?’ he called out, loud enough for Sherlock to hear him in the bedroom. ‘She left rather abruptly after you came back here. I do wonder why you’re suddenly so interested in her…’

‘I’m not!’

Sherlock burst through the bedroom door, ignoring John’s gaze and with great strides, planted himself firmly in Mycroft’s personal space. ‘It is for a case,’ he gritted out between clenched jaws and Mycroft sighed deeply. 

‘A case? All this -’ Mycroft made a show of observing Sherlock from head to toe and the disbelief in his tone was almost tangible ‘- for a case? Do pray tell what case would justify this?’

‘Magnussen.’


	5. Chapter Five

John glanced at Sherlock out of the corner of his eye and had no reason to doubt that Sherlock was indeed working a case.  What he did doubt was Mycroft’s implications of relations with Janine, the drug use, well as John said earlier, he knew and he would talk to Sherlock about that on his terms, not Mycroft’s

“Mycroft, I don’t know why you feel the need to always stick your nose where it’s not wanted so why don’t you just leave? “

Mycroft held his hands up in a mock form of surrender, “Have it your way, but I must warn you, Magnussen isn’t someone you want to be messing with Sherlock.  Whatever you’re doing, stop.  He can and will destroy you.”  With that, Mycroft turned and was on his way.

John waited for the door to shut and then turned to Sherlock and motioned him to sit at the table.  “OK, from the beginning,” he said calmly.  “Everything including the drug use and why.  I’m not going to lecture you, you’re a grown man and can decide these things for yourself, though I just wish you would have called me instead and we could have figured something else out since as you say, this was for a case.”

 

Sherlock sank down on the chair, pointedly not looking at John. Seriously, how could the man expect to have a decent conversation with him still looking like he had… while looking like _ that! _

‘You were away,’ Sherlock muttered, clearly not just talking about the fact that John had left with Mary on their honeymoon. 

 

John took the seat opposite to him, not bothering to fix his jeans or retrieve his sweater and  frowned. Sherlock did have a point. 

“You know even though I wasn’t here I would have been available to talk, well text since that’s what you prefer.”

He drummed his fingers on the table waiting for Sherlock to acknowledge what he’d said, after several moments of silence and avoiding eye contact john finally broke the silence.

"Well, the story isn’t going to tell itself."

 

Sherlock kept his eyes firmly fixed on the table as John’s words sunk in. Could he tell him? John was here now, wasn’t he and those texts…

'It is for a case,' Sherlock repeated, still not looking at John. 'I needed to appear as an addict. My reputation needed to be… Magnussen uses people's weaknesses to extort them. So it seemed… obvious to use this former habit on mine to appear weakened. You were away with Mary so I didn't contact you.'

Sherlock strechted his fingers under the table. Still trembling. He breathed in deeply to calm his nerves. Mycroft’s visit had rattled him more that he dared to admit. That in combination with his body coming down from the high… it was a small miracle that Sherlock hadn’t succumbed already.

"Yeah, I get the case bit,' John bit out. 'You’ve stated that repeatedly. What I don’t understand is why you’re lying to me Sherlock. You’re high right now, well coming down anyway. And I don’t think you’ve thought it through. If he wants to use a weakness against you, that’s not what he would chose."  
John gave Sherlock a moment to let his words sink in.

 

Sherlock looked up. Of course he should have known better. John was a doctor, he knew him. Of course he would see. And even if he hadn’t, his brother had ruined his changes.

'What other pressure points would I have then, John?' Sherlock asked, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. 'Today was the first I heard from you since the wedding. Magnussen doesn't -'  
But the moment Sherlock said those words, he could see himself pulling John from the bonfire after his return. He hadn’t known who was responsible then but now…

'The bonfire,' he breathed out. 'He was testing… it was Magnussen!’


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock realises.

“Look,' John answered, 'it was stupid of me not to text you or call you while I was gone, but would you have answered since you were on a case?  Never mind, yes you would, because you did earlier.  I’m sorry, ok?” John didn’t bother to answer was the pressure point question since Sherlock already had, but now it raised a question in John’s mind.  

“What was Magnussen testing?  Sherlock what haven’t you told me about that night?”

 

Sherlock rose from his chair, suddenly frantic with energy. How did he not see earlier?!  
It had been too much of a coincidence. Not one day after his return and John gets put inside a bonfire.

'You, John!' Sherlock called out, pacing the kitchen. 'Magnussen knows the pressure point of every notable person in England. He was still working his way up the ranks before I left so he had to start small. But now! He has been getting favours and funds from royalty even. I return from the dead and he has nothing on me yet. He was testing my pressure points. You.'  
Sherlock suddenly turned, pointing at John. ‘You were the first person I showed myself to. He must have known, somehow, and decided to test it. He put you in the bonfire - put you in danger to see how I…’

Sherlock trailed off. John had been right. He hadn’t thought this through at all. The drugs. It wasn’t his biggest pressure point. It had been John all along and Magnussen knew it!

 

"Okay but why does he need you? Why was he even following you, or me for that matter? What purpose could he possibly have for needing anything on you?" John watched Sherlock pacing, he was getting worse as the conversation kept going. John decided it was time to change tactics because he knew if he left Sherlock go on with his deductions about Magnussen, they’d end up running all around London tonight and that was not a good idea.  
"Sherlock, sit. We need for you to calm down and wait this high out before we can tackle this."

 

‘Oh, I’m fine!’ Sherlock said, waving his hand as if brushing away John’s concerns. He didn’t sit down, because John’s question kept repeating themselves over and over in his head. 

Mycroft. Mycroft had been here and said that Magnussen was dangerous. Mycroft knew him! 

‘Mycroft…’ Sherlock muttered in realisation. ‘He is after Mycroft. One of the most powerful men in the country - no matter how hard he may deny it. He is using me to get my brother. I am the one weakness he ever allowed in his life and Magnussen is taking full advantage of that. My return was all he needed.’


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something shifts...

 

“Sherlock, you are not fine.” John said adamantly.  “I mean look at you, you can’t be still ,  you’re shaking and your mind is all over the place.  You need to wait this out, trust me on this, this is how mistakes are made. Now sit down so we can eat and talk about this a bit.”

John looked up at Sherlock and waited to see if Sherlock would listen to him.  He had a lot to say, but didn’t want it to spiral it out of control.

 

‘Oh stop it John, I don’t have time to sit and eat,’ Sherlock went on but he did froze in his movements to look at John. 

‘Magnussen has used you to get to me and now he wants to pressure me to get to Mycroft. You were right; he never would have cared about my habit. He already knows how to get to me. But I need those letters…’ he continued, rambling off again, rubbing his face with his hands in frustration. 

“Sherlock, for God’s sake, slow down!”  John rose from his seat and went over and took Sherlock by the upper arms to make him stop.  “You are all over the place, jumping from thought to thought and I can’t follow them.  Hell, I’m not even sure that you can.  I will help you however I can but first we need to be on the same page.  I need to know what you know about this case.”

John had to admit he was impressed Sherlock hadn’t pulled away from him when he stopped him, it was a bit strange, in some ways, their old dynamic had never changed.

 

The moment John’s hands grabbed him, Sherlock stilled. Both his brain and his body. All he could see, was John, talking him down, telling him to slow down, to wait for him. Because John wanted to be there. Right next to him. 

Them, against the rest of the world, just like Sherlock had wanted from the moment he returned. 

‘John…’ he breathed out, his throat suddenly tight. 

 

John was caught a bit off guard by the way Sherlock whispered his name.  He completely forgot all the outside things in their lives that were going on and suddenly everything became focused on just the two of them.

“Sherlock…” John murmured, his one hand skimming up Sherlock’s arm to the nape of his neck.  He was quickly getting lost in the moment and it seemed Sherlock was as well.

 

‘John, I…’ Sherlock was momentarily lost for words as John’s hand slid up to his neck. Of all the times he had dreamed of this moment, now was possible the worst time to indulge. He was coming down from a spectacular high and Magnussen’s sudden threat was looming on the horizon. 

‘I can’t let him harm you to get to me or Mycroft, John… I won’t allow it. We can’t…’

He couldn’t say it. Not with John so close. Not with him feeling John’s breath on his own skin. 

 

Every instinct told him  that Sherlock was right, but John’s heart was screaming at him just to kiss him, just once, just in case…..but he didn’t.

Instead, he let his hand travel further up Sherlock’s neck and pulled him closer so their foreheads were touching. 

“When all this is over, ' he muttered, ' I don’t care what has happened or what is going on, but we will be exploring this.” He let his lips brush over Sherlock’s ever so lightly and then he sighed and stepped back, pulling his pants and jeans back up closing them.  He then walked in the room to find his shirt and jumper.

“Now sit down at the table.  You need to eat and we need to come up with a plan.”

 

Sherlock felt his eyes close when John’s lips brushed his own. He wanted nothing more than to rush forwards and crash his lips against John. To taste him, feel his tongue against his own. But this was not right. Not now. 

He blinked when John stepped away from him, filing away the feeling of John’s lips against his own for later and he tried to focus back on the momentous task ahead.

‘Yes… alright, yes. Magnussen…Magnussen is like a s hark, John…’


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some truths and suspicions come to light.

John smiled to himself as he retrieved his jumper, he knew Sherlock had wanted more just as he did, but he was also happy that the younger man listened to him and sat at the table and began rambling on about Magnussen.

Before joining him at the table, he reheated their plates and grabbed them some water to drink.  He placed Sherlock’s in front of him and was pleased when he began to actually eat.

As he sat, he began with his own questions.  “So you still never told about about the night of the bonfire, I feel like there’s still something important that you are leaving out about that.”

 

The bonfire.

Sherlock felt his heart race again at the mere thought of John being in such danger again. He may not have wanted Sherlock in his life at the time, but he had refused to allow John to completely disappear from his.

'I thought I had missed someone at first,' he started. 'Some henchman of Moriarty's who wanted to finish what his boss had failed to do. When Mary told me you had been taken, I…'   
He breathed deeply.   
'And when I pulled you out, I was scared that we were too late - you had stopped screaming. He must have had people there, watching me the entire time.'

 

It was like John was transported back to that night, that exact moment.  He had really never remembered what had happened that night thanks to whatever they had drugged him with and the shock of waking up in a bonfire, but now that Sherlock just admitted to pulling him out of the bonfire, things became a bit more clearer.  

John tensed at Sherlock’s words and he became angry.  “Why didn’t you tell me it was you that pulled me out of the bonfire?  God Sherlock, that would have changed things!  See, this is what I mean, you can’t just go around deciding what is best for me to know and what isn’t.  I can’t make decisions about my life when I don’t have all the information I need and believe me, that would have been a helpful piece of information.”

 

‘You were angry - and had every right to be, I have to admit,’ Sherlock defended himself. ‘I didn’t want you to come back out of guilt and to be honest, I didn’t think it would matter. Mary would have done the same; I was just there sooner. 

Sherlock took a deep breath. ‘It doesn’t matter now anyway. You have Mary and the baby now. And we need to focus on Magnussen.’

 

“No, you don’t get to go there.' John exclaimed. 'You don’t get to tell me what I would have done or how I feel, remember?”  John could feel the anger, all the anger he had bottled over these last few months by not sorting this out with Sherlock rushing to the surface and he took a deep breath and gritted his teeth.  “And if you don’t see that all this ties in with Magnussen, then we really are in trouble.”

He ran his hands over his face, “And as far as Mary is concerned, that’s something that I will sort out on my own and whatever decision I make, it is because it’s what I want.  Don’t you dare try and tell me how to live my life, I let you do it once - no actually twice - and I’ll be damned if I’ll let you do it a third time.”

 

‘She is pregnant, John!’ Sherlock yelled, fueled by his own frustration and fear. ‘You’ll never leave her, no matter what you feel for me, and you shouldn’t. You love her and she makes you happy.’

Sherlock rose from his seat again, unable to sit still. ‘It is bad enough that Magnussen is using you to get to me. I never should have…’ He shook his head, frustrated. Never before had Mycroft’s words sounded so true;  _caring is not an advantage._

 _‘_ I need to set up a meeting with Magnussen,’ he bristled, making his way to the bathroom. ‘Before he can do more harm.’

 

John got up and followed Sherlock into the bathroom. “You’ll do no such thing until we get all this sorted!”  He was nearly yelling now.  “Do you not see this is what would work to his advantage?  Us like this?!”  he said gesturing between them.  “And as for my wedding and her being pregnant, well I have my doubts.”

 

Sherlock froze at John lasts words and turned around. 

‘What are you talking about,’ he demanded to know. ‘Mary  _is_ pregnant; all the signs are there. I told you.’

_Liar…_

That one word Sherlock had seen when he first read Mary suddenly came back to him, but he ignored it. Everyone had secrets. Everyone lied. 

 

“Sherlock,' John sighed, 'you know as well as I do that people can ‘fake’ the signs.  People lie all the time.  You’ve taught me that one well.  Also, if she wanted to fake it, she’d have no trouble, she’s a nurse for God’s sake.  There’s just so many little things that haven’t been adding up since you’ve been back and I just don’t know what to think anymore about.  Also, anytime I’ve tried to approach the subject with you, you just kept pushing the marriage on me and well, now here I am.  Filled with regrets and doubts due to my own stupidity.”

 

Sherlock tried not to flinch at John’s off handed comment about liars and he focused on anything else John was saying.

'Please, John,' he scoffed. 'You're being paranoid. What possible reason would Mary have to fake her pregnancy? I assume you and her…' He waved his hand, hoping John would understand. He couldn't say it.   
'And I did no such thing. She is good for you, she loves you and she isn't so dreadfully dull.'

 

“I am not being paranoid, far from it in fact.  There are a lot of things that go on in my own house that aren’t right, hushed phone calls and just there are times when she just disappears for bits at a time and when I ask here where she’s been the answer I get is oh just out.”

Sherlock looked at him in disbelief, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Yet, she want’s me to account for my exact whereabouts at all times.  Things do not add up.  And Sherlock, we were not trying for a baby.  She’d never mentioned it, in fact said she didn’t want kids and was using birth control.  And since she was adamant about it, I continued to use condoms, so you tell me what I’m supposed to think?”

 

‘Obviously she is having an affair and…’ Sherlock's off as he took in John's expression. 

Oh. Mary.  _John!_ Mary was cheating on John! Not some random person. John!

Sherlock’s brain screeched to a halt as he took in John’s expression. Oh, this was so very not good. Sherlock had stepped aside, thinking that Mary would be the one to make him happy. He had given up every hope and forced himself to move on and now Mary was… 

Sherlock wanted to be sick and he took a deep breath through his nose.

 

“No, don’t hold back,” John said softly now.  “I want to hear whatever deductions you’ve held back, because I know you’ve had to. I don’t know why you did, but I know you must have.  I mean sure, it makes sense I would miss it because I had my attention focused elsewhere, certainly not entirely on her, but if this… what else is going on that I don’t know about.”

John took a moment, finally looked at Sherlock and instantly felt guilty.  “Oh god, Sherlock I’m not..” he grabbed him and pulled him for a hug, “I’m not blaming you.  Not for any of it.  I just, i don’t know what to do, so I’ve been playing along but I need to know more before I make a move.”

 

Sherlock didn’t fight John pulling him in for a hug and for a moment he allowed himself to focus on nothing else but the feeling of John’s arm around him. Of his arms around John. He forced himself to forget that he had been shooting up, that they were standing inside the bathroom and that John’s wife was cheating on him. 

Just them. If only for a moment. 

‘Liar,’ Sherlock muttered against John's hair. ‘That was one thing I read. Everything else was… scrambled.’

_Cat Lover_

_Secret Tattoo_

He had mashed those words together because they made sense at the time. 

 _Secret Lover?_ Had that been what he should have read?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got inspired by a meta: http://johnnlocked.tumblr.com/post/113964908241/the-mary-deductions for the scrambled deductions part.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Promises are made and someone arrives for a visit...

John didn’t move away from Sherlock.  He just needed the closeness, the comfort, and he hoped that Sherlock realised it for what it was at this moment.  They stayed like that for several moments until John’s breath evened out and he could step back without the threat of crying.

He wiped the dampness from his checks, some tears had fallen, he wasn’t ashamed and he looked up at Sherlock with red rimmed eyes.

“I need you to help me sort this out, you’re the only one I trust.”

 

‘Of course,’ Sherlock said without a moment’s hesitation. ‘Anything you need.’ 

His hands lingered on John’s upper arms. Sherlock wasn’t ready to let him move back just yet. But when he saw new tears on John’s cheek, he reached out and brushed them away. John wasn’t supposed to cry. He never had. Even standing at his grave, he had kept his stoic mask in place. 

 

John stood frozen in place from Sherlock’s touch to his tear stained cheeks.  It took everything he had to lean up onto his toes and kiss him. He had agreed with Sherlock that now was not that time for them to explore their feelings.  It didn’t however stop him from placing his hand over Sherlock’s and turning into his palm and placing a kiss there, leaving his lips lingering perhaps a bit longer than he should.  

He looked up at Sherlock through long eyelashes, “When this is over, no arguments, you and I are going far away from here and any interruptions and coming to terms with each other and how we feel.  Promise me that.”

 

Sherlock’s skin tingled on the place where John had pressed his lips and he found himself fascinated by the movement. He didn’t even realise John was looking at him until he heard him speak. 

He nodded, not trusting his own voice. 

They stayed like that for a moment, gathering their thoughts and calming down. Sherlock’s felt horrible - coming down from heroin in combination with this latest reveal was not doing him any good - but he ignored it. 

‘Do you want to - I mean, regarding Mary. I can look into who…’

 

“Please, she won’t suspect you.  For some reason she’s taking a liking to you and I don’t think she’ll expect it from you.  Especially now that we can use this ruse with the drugs, which by the way ends now.  No more.”

He kept held of Sherlock’s hand but brought it down to hold in front of him for a bit longer, he didn’t want to let go.  His other hand eventually joined and he watched as he rubbed over Sherlock’s fingers and hand before letting go.  He looked back up at Sherlock.

“Now, tell me about Janine, maybe we can use that to our advantage too.”

 

‘I’ll stop John,’ Sherlock vowed. ‘It hardly matters now anyway.  But I’m not giving up the persona; not yet. No one expects me to see as a homeless junkie and it is the perfect cover. I’ll need to talk to some people though, about Mary. Perhaps the network has already picked up something.’

At John’s questioning gaze, he explained. ‘The Network is always looking out for those close to me. In case they need to contact me, or in case something happens to either of you.’

‘As for Janine… I’m using her to gain access to Magnussen’s office. She is his PA. Stroke of luck meeting her at your wedding to be honest. I was planning on breaking in there eventually to gain the documents he is using to blackmail some high-up in the government.’

 

John shook his head, “I’m beginning to wonder at this point if anything is a stroke of luck,” he muttered under his breath as he turned around and walked out of the bathroom, he suddenly needed air.  

He walked over to the window Sherlock always stood at to play violin and opened it.  The air felt good on his face and opened the tightness in his chest until he noticed the town car pull up to the curb and three men getting out,

“Uh Sherlock, not to be an alarmist, but what do you make of this?”

 

Sherlock followed John out the bathroom after taking a moment to compose himself and he joined him at the window.

'Magnussen,' Sherlock muttered, chest suddenly tight with nerves. He had preferred to keep John as far away from this man as possible now that he was aware the he knew just how much John meant. 'I contacted him several days ago in regards to the letters he has. But we were supposed to be meeting in his office tomorrow!'

 

John had already figured that’s who the car had held, what he didn’t know was the cause for the visit, until Sherlock enlightened him three seconds ago.

“Ok now would be a good time if you need to let me know anything that might be really important, like what not to say.”

 

'Just… don't say anything,' Sherlock said hastily. They could hear mrs Hudson opening the door downstairs.  
'He'll use everything he can to get ahead. His dealings are with me.'

Sherlock straightened his jacket and took a quick glance at himself in the mirror before adjusting his stance, appearing even taller than he was and more confident, convincing himself that he was ready for whatever Magnussen could throw at him.

 

John followed Sherlock’s lead, straightening his clothes and assuming his military stance close to Sherlock.  He nodded, a silent promise to try and stay silent no matter what Magnussen may say, but he knew he couldn’t guarantee.  If the man said the wrong thing or threatened Sherlock well John may not be able to control himself.  They waited in silence as Magnussen and his two men ascended the stairs.


	10. Chapter Ten

Magnussen. His mere presence caused Sherlock’s to turn. Those pale dead eyes took in everything around him with an air of disdain. He was taller than Sherlock was and he used that length to complete own whatever room he was in.

They were searched by his men but Sherlock hardly paid that any mind. He was completely focused on Magnussen.   
'I thought he would be meeting in your office, mr Magnussen?'

Magnussen’s lips curled in a cold smile. ‘This is my office.’

 

John rolled his eyes, but kept his mouth shut.  This was meant to do nothing more than through Sherlock off his game - make him uncomfortable in his own surroundings.  He merely stood there, legs slightly apart, hands clapsed behind his back.

Magnussen took the opportunity to walk over to John and completely circle him.  John never blinked and eye but Sherlock, that was a different story.

“What I did not expect was to be graced with Dr. Watson’s presence.  This is a delightful chance encounter.”

 

Sherlock had to restrain himself from throwing Magnussen out the window. John didn’t seem bothered by him too much - he just straightened himself, appearing every bit like the captain he once was - but Sherlock hated the look in Magnussen’s eyes.

He needed to get the focus back on him.

'Mr Magnussen, I have been asked by mrs Smallwood to get back the letters you have used to pressure her with.'

Magnussen didn’t even look at him.

'Mr Magnussen…' Sherlock could not keep the disdain from his voice and now the taller man did turn to him. Only to laugh briefly. 'I amuse you?'  
'Oh forgive me,' Magnussen said smoothly. 'I was reading. There is rather a lot.' He paused for a moment. 'Redbeard?'

Sherlock blinked, forcing the shock from his mind. How did Magnussen even know… not even John knew the story about Redbeard! 

_Quick. Focus. Deal with this later. Protect John!_

 

John kept his body forward but watched Sherlock when he could out of the corner of his eye, for the most part Sherlock held his own until the mention of Redbeard.  He could see the change immediately come over the detective and with him just coming down from a high, this was not good.  He knew he promised he’d not say a word so he just cleared his throat.

Magnussen turned on his heel making it an even more theatrical gesture than Sherlock normally did and got within a centimeter’s space of John’s face.

“Have something to say Dr Watson?  Come on then, out with it.”

John opened his mouth to reply but it was useless because Magnussen was already two words into his next sentence. “I wonder, does your wife know what your true intentions here were tonight?  Guess it really doesn’t matter though, she really had no intention pulling you out of that bonfire, she’s got more important things on her mind.  She was happy to let Sherlock do all the heavy lifting on that one,  It is funny though, I do wonder how she got to be so good at games?”

 

_Mary. He was talking about Mary. Why Mary? Blackmailing her too? Using her to get to John to get to me? Games? What games…_

‘Mr Magnussen, the letters!’

Sherlock needed him gone, away from John, away from Baker Street. And he needed him gone now. 

Magnussen chuckled, reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out quite a stack of letters.  He stepped forward leaning into Sherlock’s face and talking low into his ear.

“Oh, you mean these?” he said waving them in front of his face before tucking them back to the confines of his jacket where Sherlock couldn’t get to them.  ”But you see Sherlock, you have absolutely nothing I want.”

He spun on his heel again and sidled up to John, “But Dr. Watson here.  Oh the things he could give me.” he sneered.

 

Sherlock swallowed down his nausea when Magnussen closed in on him and he felt his hot breath on his ear. But he didn’t look away. Not even to blink. He needed to challenge him, keep his focus away from John, but he was failing. Whatever Magnussen’s game was, he seemed intent on playing it with John. 

‘I’m sure I can find something of value,’ Sherlock sneered. ‘After all, I do believe you are aware who my brother is.’

 

Magnussen turned back to Sherlock, raising his eyebrow, “That is very tempting but I do think I could get so much more from Dr. Watson here.”  He finished with a wink before stepping back from the pair of them.  “But now I have some other matters to attend to so  ** _we_**  will be in touch.” he said with a pointed look at John.

“Gentlemen.” he smiled as his men stayed behind a moment, allowing Magnussen to exit the flat first.

 

When they were gone, John looked at Sherlock.  “What the bloody hell was that all about?  What could he possibly get from me?  I’m no one special, nothing ever happens to me.”

Sherlock turned to the window, watching Magnussen leave the building and get into his car. He breathed in deeply before exhaling. 

_Calm down. He is gone._

‘I don’t know,’ Sherlock muttered. ‘I expected him to… doesn’t matter. We need to get into his office. Retrieve those letters and see what else he has with him. It is time we turn this little game of his around.’

 

John’s anger was rising now, “What do you mean you don’t know.  Can’t you even hazard a guess?  And just how do you plan we get into his office because I’ve no doubt it’s heavily guarded.”

He walked over to the window and watched as Magnussen crawled into the back of his town car.  The man was unbelievable, he rolled the window down and peered out, smiling and blowing a kiss to the boys.

John rolled his eyes and looked at Sherlock. “I know I promised you that I’d keep quiet, but the next time, I will be having some words with that man.”

‘I told you I was using Janine,’ Sherlock said dismissively as he watched Magnussen drive away. ‘She is his PA and we’re in a relationship for all intents and purposes if you must know. She’ll let me in.’

Sherlock turned away from the window, dashing from corner to corner to collect the things he needed. ‘I need to go shopping though.’

John grabbed him by the arm as he dashed by, “Wait a minute.”

Sherlock stopped long enough to look at him before trying to wiggle out of his grip.

“Sherlock, what do you mean relationship and why would she let you in?  It’s probably in her job description not to let _anyone_  without an appointment in.  Besides, I thought he said he didn’t have an office to speak of.”

 

Sherlock stared at John as if he was asking him to explain the concepts of basic math. 

‘Janine and I are in a relationship,’ he repeated slowly. ‘Or at least, that is what she believes. She has been staying here for… oh I can’t remember. I always assumed I needed access to Magnussen’s penthouse - or office since he does most of his work there - and Janine spends her working hours there. I won’t need an appointment; I’m going shopping.’

Sherlock gave a pointed look to John’s hand - the hand which held his wedding ring to be precise - before turning and grabbing his coat. He wanted this over and done with, as quickly as possible. Magnussen knew more than he had expected and his comments about Mary didn’t sit well with him. 

 

“I’m sure there are still rules she has to follow that she won’t break under any circumstance even for you,' John argued. 'I’m sure she’s very aware of what kind of man her boss is and won’t risk crossing him. And if you’re planning what I think you are, isn’t it a bit foolish to waste that kind of money on something that might not even work?”

 

Sherlock stopped and spun, looking at John harshly now.  He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, keeping himself from saying something he knew would hurt them both.

John stared back at him daring him.  After a few seconds of silence, “Go on say it, I know you want to.”

‘No more foolish than that it would seem,’ Sherlock said, lifting his hand to trace the gold band on John’s finger, but he let it drop again before their skins made contact. 

_Not now!_

John left the comment go about his wedding band, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.  They would sort it once they got through this case they now seemed to be on and come to terms with it.  

Sherlock tore his gaze away from John. ‘Besides, John, even if she were to say ‘no’, she’d invite me up anyway to do it in person. And I’m not paying…’

Sherlock reached in his trouser pocket with a grin and pulled out a card on the name of Mycroft Holmes. ‘Now, I’ll see you at Magnussen’s London office tomorrow night. In the meantime, I need more data regarding Mary and her… affair. Her phone might be a good place to start.’

 

Case.  John smiled, this was some of what he missed, aside from Sherlock.  Life was just, well not the same without Sherlock and everything that came with him.  He also had to admit that making Mycroft pay for the ring was a nice touch, especially after the git stopped by earlier to try and stir things up between them.  He just hoped Sherlock’s plan would accomplish the desired effect and not leave Janine too mad at the end of the day for a bit of revenge.

“Sherlock, how and when do you plan on getting Mary’s phone?  And are you sure tomorrow evening is enough time to  get everything ready, shouldn’t we have a more concrete plan, I mean do you even have something in mind or are you just going in blind hoping to find something?’

 

‘Well, you’re married to her,’ Sherlock said matter-of-factly. ‘I’m sure you can acquire her phone long enough to send me some details. Just do not give her the chance to delete anything.’

Sherlock wrapped his coat around him. ‘And I do have a plan. I just need a key card to the building so I’ll be getting one tonight. We know he has the letters John; he showed us! And he is not leaving the city tonight nor tomorrow, so they have to be in a safe close to him.’

With the case to focus on, Sherlock could ignore the hollow feeling in his chest when he made his way down the stairs. 


	11. Chapter Eleven

John packed up the take-away and cleaned up quickly before he left the flat.  He was admittedly pissed with the way the evening had turned out and here he was going back to the last place he wanted to be going - Mary’s side.

It took no time at all to get back and when he did he found their house empty.  That was odd.  She had told him not to stay out late, but where was she? He glanced at his watch, half past ten.  He took his phone out and dialed Mary’s number and heard a ringing from the table.  He walked over to the table and sure enough there was her phone.  This was almost too easy.  He looked out to the driveway, the car was still gone.  He quickly picked up her phone, unlocked it and forwarded all the texts and emails he could to Sherlock and then erased the evidence that he was on her phone, set it back on the table and went up to shower.

 

While in the shower, John couldn’t help but wonder where Mary was and why she would have left her phone on the table.  Perhaps she had just forgotten, left in a rush because something came up, but then she never goes anywhere without her phone and he could think of nothing that would pull her away from the house at this time of night.

As he stepped out of the shower and toweled off he quickly put his pajamas on after that and crawled in bed.  He looked at the clock, ten past eleven.  Where the hell was she?  That’s when he heard the car pull up in the driveway and the door open moments later.  

John had turned to his side and closed his eyes.  He was in no mood for anymore arguing tonight, or lying for that matter, so that’s why he feigned sleep when she crawled into bed twenty minutes later and gently shook his arm to see if he was awake.

 

It took Sherlock longer than he expected to steal an access card to the office building of Magnussen’s newspaper - his staff was surprisingly alert and cautious and for a moment Sherlock wondered if Magnussen was blackmailing every single one of them. 

Everyone had secrets, didn’t they? 

By the time Sherlock had time to review the information John has sent him, safely inside a quiet and dark Baker Street, his eyes were stinging from exhaustion. Today had cost him more than he dared to admit. 

For a moment he allowed himself to read back the texts which John had sent his earlier that day and he felt his heart race. John cared. Loved him, even! The things Sherlock had been willing to give up to hear him say the words sooner… 

But they’d sort this out. After this mess with Magnussen and Mary was sorted, they’d have time.  

_Focus now. Look at what John sent you._

 

Sherlock nearly dropped the phone from his hands when he found what he was looking for. One text. Impossible to misinterpret. And it made Sherlock’s insides turn.

_I wonder what your husband would do if he’d know. Love from Cam_

Cam. He had seen that name before. He had been forced to read them aloud before! 

_‘’To Mary, lots of love poppet, oodles of love and heaps of good wishes, from Cam. Wish your family could have seen this…’’_

_‘’Are you alright?’’_ John’s voice now. Concerned. Looking at Mary who has visibly paled. She nods quickly, composes herself before he can see. 

Cam. 

The telegram has sounded… odd. The use of the word poppet might have been explained. Petnames. Lots of people had those. But the mention of her family…

_‘’Ah, orphan’s lot. Friends is all I have. Lots of friends.’’_

And then there had been her reaction. A threat? And now this text from the same name. Cam.

_Charles Augustus Magnussen._

Sherlock let out a shaky breath. John, he needed to t… no. John would be angry. He would do something rash. They still needed the letters.

After, he would tell him after.


	12. Chapter Twelve

It had been months since John had had a night of sleep hounded with nightmares that left him wiped out the next morning.

Mary eyed him as they sat at the table having a small breakfast.

'You OK love?  Everything go OK last night with Sherlock?'

He shrugged her off. 'Yeah, Sherlock’s fine. I’m just not feeling the greatest, think it may have been the take away last night. Where were you last night?'

'Oh, Janine had called and was upset. I was worried about her so I went over to her place. I meant to text but...'

'Mmm, how is she then? What upset her?'

Mary looked at him, her eyes wide. 'Oh come now John, surely you must know. Her and Sherlock have been dating since the wedding and apparently they had their first real argument last night.'

'He did mention something. I guess we just had other things to talk about so we really discuss it much. I do know he is planning on making it up to her today. He did feel bad about it.'

'Oh really? What is he planning, better be something spectacular because she’s really hurting.'

'Oh, trust me,” John said trying to keep the sting out of his voice, even though he knew it was a sham.  'It is, believe me. It is.'

 

Sherlock spent the day memorising Magnussen’s schedule and ignoring his brother’s texts and calls. He texted Janine during the day, apologising for last night and asked if he could see her soon to make things up with her and explain himself. 

She accepted, eventually and settled on tomorrow. Sherlock nodded to himself. At least that part was going well. 

But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about Mary and Magnussen. He had stepped aside for her. Acknowledging that she was better for John and she just… 

Sherlock slammed his phone down on the table, trying to control his anger and the need to numb it out with the heroin. He just needed this to be over. Now! 

 

Even though he didn’t quite feel like it, John drug himself to work that day and muddled through. He would have felt horrible calling in ‘sick’ at the last minute, not to mention risked making Mary suspicious and would have driven himself mad being stuck at the house all day waiting until it was time to meet Sherlock.

Now all he had to do is come up with some excuse to be out of the house tonight that wasn’t Sherlock, because as far as Mary knew, Sherlock was planning something big for Janine.

It was then Mary popped her head in John’s office.

'Love, some of the girls just invited me out to dinner tonight to celebrate the baby, would you like me to tell them no since you aren’t feeling well?'

'No, no, go ahead, I’ll be fine. No reason for you to be stuck at home with me being miserable. It will be good for you to get out. Tell them hi from me, yeah?'

'You sure?'

'Yes, absolutely.'  And to make his point, he walked over to her and kissed her cheek. 'I’m not feeling as awful as I was this morning. I think it’s passing, but I’ll just take it easy and maybe turn in early.'

'OK, only if you’re sure though,' she said placing a hand on his shoulder as she kissed his cheek back.

 

As she turned and left, John couldn’t help but feel a little twinge of excitement mixed with some trepidation.  He wondered if he should be worried that things worked out this way, but decided it wasn’t important as he sent a text to Sherlock.

_What time shall we meet and where?  I’m free now.  Did you find anything in all that stuff I forwarded you last night?_ \- JW

 

Sherlock nearly jumped out of his chair the moment he heard his phone vibrate on the table. He had spent the day in his mind palace, relieving yesterday over and over again in his mind, savouring the feeling of John’s hands and lips on his skin. 

Almost. He could have it and more. After tonight. After the letters and Mary’s secret were taken care off, he would… 

He swallowed as he took his phone, ignoring his trembling hands. He was craving a hit.  _The case. John. Focus on them, now!_

_Magnussen’s Head Office in London. Will be there in 30 minutes. Will talk there._  - SH 

 

John didn’t even bother going home first.  He simply changed into the clothing he had brought along and left the bag tucked away under his desk.  He grabbed a bite to eat on his way and tried not to let his thoughts race out of control as he watched buildings pass by from the back of the cab.

He would have liked to claim he was successful at that last bit, but he wasn’t.  He tried not to look out of place as he stood in lobby waiting for Sherlock to show up, he wasn’t quite sure how he had managed to beat him here since he himself was late.  He was starting to worry but then noticed Sherlock rounding the corner.

 

John. Sherlock felt a weight lift of his chest when he saw the doctor waiting for him. Back straight, arms behind his back. Parade rest. Sherlock thought it strangely fitting; they were waging a war of their own in a sense. 

‘John,’ he greeted him curtly. ‘No trouble with Mary?’

He knew John hadn’t - he would have been more tense if he had struggled to get away and would certainly not be here before he - but he felt the need to verify.

 

'Actually no, she was invited out to dinner with a few of the girls from work, but she was worried about me and offered to stay in with me for the night but I told her to go out, so it all worked out perfectly.'

John took in Sherlock’s state. He knew something was bothering him so he made it a point to try and find out.

'How about you, you OK? Ready to do whatever it is you have planned?'

 

Sherlock nodded silently. He had suspected as such. Mary was out herself. 

With her lover? With Magnussen?

A shiver went down his spine at the thought but he forced himself to calm. Magnussen was away - dinner with some high ups - so Mary probably hadn’t been lying.

'Sherlock?' John's inquiring tone shook him from his thoughts. 

'Oh, yes, fine,' he muttered. 'Let's hurry.'

Sherlock turned and was off in a flash, leaving John to almost have to break into a sprint to catch up.

 

'Sherlock! Slow down!' he huffed angrily under his breath. Just like that Sherlock stopped and John almost ran into the immobile detective. 'Jesus! What the bloody hell is with you tonight. Do you even know what you’re doing?'  

'Of course I do!' Sherlock snapped.

'Well then, maybe you ought to share so we can do this together, yeah?'

 

Sherlock took a deep breath in through his nose. 

‘I’m going to make sure Janine lets me in, so we can go upstairs and look for those letters,’ he said slowly. ‘Janine doesn’t like her boss so I’ll doubt she’ll give us much trouble. Magnussen is away for the evening so we’ll time. But for now,’ Sherlock pulled out the access card he had stolen yesterday and patted his breast pocket, ‘we need to get in. I’ve been shopping.’

 

John rolled his eyes.  He still wasn’t happy with what he knew of this plan so far, which wasn’t a whole lot.

'Well, she may let you in, how do you explain why I’m here? Especially if this is supposed to be a private moment between the two of you? And what happens should Magnussen come back early?'

 

‘She won’t know you’re here,’ Sherlock said. ‘And by the time she does, we’ll already been in.’ He nodded to elevator they were walking towards. ‘Magnussen’s private elevator. This -’ he twirled the access card in his hand ‘- won’t do us much good. They’ll drag me off the moment I try, but when I do this…’ 

Sherlock grabbed his phone and pressed it up against the card. ‘Corrupted. It isn’t the wrong card now, it’s a corrupted one. So they have to check who it is; as you said, Magnussen might be back earlier. There is a camera, right there and guess who is looking in from the other side.’

Sherlock throw a grin at John’s direction before stepping in front of said camera, gesturing John to stay out of sight.  

 

John nodded to the people passing by him as he stood out of the camera’s view while Sherlock swiped the card and waited for recognition from the other side of the camera. 

John was rocking back and forth on his feet now as he noticed two men in suits look their way after Sherlock swiped the key card and waited, fumbling now with his pocket, seemingly nervous.

John kept his body facing the men who were now headed their way and looked at Sherlock out of the corner of his eye and started to angrily mutter. 'I hope for your sake that whatever you have planned is going to work because there are two extremely put-off looking fellows heading our way.'

John smiled uncomfortably and nodded at a lady who just happened to pass by at that moment.

 

‘Stop worrying,’ Sherlock muttered without looking at John and he continued to smile nervously at the camera. 

‘ _Sherlock, you complete loon, what are you doing here?’_ Janine’s voice came through the speaker and Sherlock took a deep breath, as if to steel himself. 

‘Look Janine, I just want to talk,’ he started. ‘I’ve been…You know I’ve never done this and I’m sorry for yesterday, I truly am.’ 

‘ _You could have called, Sherl…’_

Sherlock shook his head. ‘I didn’t want to wait, Janine. I… please, don’t make me do it out here. Let me come up.’

Janine was silent for a moment. ‘ _Do what…’_

That was Sherlock’s cue. He bit his bottom lip, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as if he was nervous and he pulled out the little square box he had kept hidden inside his pocket and opened it in front on the camera. 

Janine’s gasp of surprise sounded through the speaker just before the light underneath it turned green, allowing the elevator to open for them and the connection was lost. 

‘Told you it would work,’ Sherlock said, eyeing the two men, who had stopped walking towards them now that the elevator had opened. 

 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Prior knowledge of this being the plan, didn’t make the scene that unfolded before him easier to watch, plus it still stung. They shouldn’t have to be doing this, using Janine like this. In fact John was pretty sure they could have some up with another way of going about this, but in the end he was just as impatient as Sherlock wanting to get this over with. 

As they boarded the elevator, John looked at Sherlock.

‘Only you would fake an engagement to break into an office and not even feel the slightest pangs of guilt over it,’ John hissed out angrily. ‘You’re going to break this girl’s heart and she doesn’t deserve that. I can’t believe I’m letting you do this, I should have made you find another way. It wouldn’t have killed us to wait an extra day or two to do this.’

Sherlock rolled his eyes. 

‘She’ll get over it,’ he said, waving John’s concerns away. ‘Besides, I’ve been working on this case for a month. Just because you weren’t there to witness it, doesn’t mean I haven’t been idle. I want this dealt with. Over. I want us to…’

Sherlock swallowed, forcing the words down. ‘I think we waited long enough, haven’t we John?’

But before John could answer, the elevator stopped and Sherlock had to take on the persona again for a moment. 

John couldn’t get over how easy it was for Sherlock to slip back into the role of loving, doting boyfriend. He was gliding out the elevator doors before they were fully open, looking for Janine to distract her so that John could sneak into the penthouse unnoticed and begin snooping.

Though things didn’t seem quite right. He could hear Sherlock calling out for Janine as though he was having difficulty locating her. That was odd, Sherlock had just spoken to her moments earlier and she was excited. Something wasn’t quite right, and that’s when he found Sherlock kneeling over an unconscious Janine in the office area of the penthouse.

‘What the bloody hell is going on Sherlock?’

‘Knocked out,’ Sherlock replied, carefully cradling her head to check her for injuries. ‘Blow to the back of the head with a blunt object. Someone is already here… Keep an eye on her!’

Sherlock rose to his feet as John knelt down next to an unconscious Janine and he began looking through the penthouse. Whoever had done this, wasn’t here now, but they still had to be inside - they would not have time to get out of the penthouse in the time it had taken them to ride the elevator up.  

A thump from upstairs made Sherlock and John freeze and Sherlock moved to the stairs before John could protest. 

‘Sherlock, wait –’ but it was too late. Sherlock was already gone from the room by the time John was kneeling by Janine’s side just to ease his own mind. Sherlock was right, she’d likely have a headache when she woke, but otherwise she’d be fine. 

It wasn’t long before John was back on Sherlock’s trail and when he was halfway up the stairs, that’s when he heard the shot, which made him pick up his pace.

What he found when he finally found Sherlock threw his world on edge, made his stomach lurch. Sherlock unconscious on the floor of the bedroom, bright red soaking the front of his shirt.

In the blink of an eye, he was at Sherlock’s side, applying pressure and trying to phone for help. He looked to his right when a movement caught his eye, he turned to see Magnussen pushing himself up from the floor and searching for his glasses.

‘You did this!’ John accused, the words out of his mouth before he could properly put the scene in order.

‘Be realistic Dr. Watson. I had no part of this, how could I? But I can assure you help is on the way.’

‘Then who did this if not you?’ John yelled.

He was interrupted as the alarms came on and John turned his attention back to Sherlock’s pale, unconscious form. ’Don’t you dare die on me now, you hear me? Help is on the way, just hang on.’

 

_‘Calm down now, Sherlock. You’re going into shock.’_

Sherlock flinched at Mycroft’s harsh tone but he knew his brother was right. He could feel it. The walls of his mind palace were crumbling, the hallways were getting longer and some of the doors refused to open for him.

_Calm. Calm down. John._

_‘No, not John! John can’t help you here.’_

_Redbeard._

Even though Sherlock could hear Magnussen’s voice using that name as a taunt, he knew that the dog hidden away in his mind palace would help. 

Sherlock’s throat felt raw from screaming and with Redbeard yapping at his heels, he ran down, down, down, to that locked padded cell. 

_‘It’s all good, Sherlock. One little push and off you pop. No one ever bothers you. No more heartbreak. No more loss. Well, not for you anyway. It is John that I worry about the most. That wife…’_

Mary! Mary had shot him. Not Magnussen’s mistress. One of the people he was blackmailing.

_Assassin._

_Have to warn John, have to tell him, keep him safe… oh God, John, I’m sorry…_

 

John kept his focus on Sherlock and hadn’t noticed that Magnussen had slipped out before both the police and paramedics arrived. Whoever called the incident in made sure exactly how many paramedics were needed and where everyone was located because as John followed the paramedics taking Sherlock, he saw another set attending to Janine. He might have thought it odd at that moment but his only focus was on Sherlock.

He basically told the paramedics he was riding along and used his status as a doctor to get himself admittance to the ambulance that transported Sherlock to the hospital. John did’t make a fuss or get in their way, he just wanted to be there for Sherlock and he was thankful they let him ride along.

When they arrived at the hospital, he stayed in the waiting area and made sure the nurses knew he would be waiting for any information and was available to answer any questions John could to help them.

 

Then the wait began.


End file.
